Among the many blessings we have received from God’s treasure trove of graces is the gift of friendship. It’s so much in accordance with His divine plan that we cherish our moments with our buddies. Accordingly, the memories of times spent with friends have always been long lasting. Surely there could have also been moments of despondency too when are friends would have stood by us providing counsel or simply lending an ear to our worries and woes. And so quite naturally, we have a day set aside to celebrate the goodness of friendship. With friendship day around the corner, it’s a fine time to explore the dynamics of friendship.
Make prudent Choices
It doesn’t matter if your friends are few or perhaps only one, all is needed is to make a prudent choice. Sirach 6:7 says, “When you gain friends, gain them through testing, and do not trust them hastily.” This verse offers a cogent explanation as to how astute we should be while deciding on the kind of friends we want to mingle with. The choice we make can either help our personal growth and progress or prove to be detrimental to us. This is affirmed in Proverbs 12: 26 “The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.” And also valuable words of wisdom are found in Proverbs 13: 20 which says, “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.”
Building meaningful friendship
God never wants us to traverse this journey of life alone rather it’s His delight to see us walk this path of life with friends who would genuinely love and care for us and help us grow in love, wisdom and rich in virtues. So we have to surround ourselves with people who are capable of having a positive impact on our lives. You’ll find such people to be appreciative of you and pour out words of wisdom in your not-so-good times. On the other hand, there are those who would always engage in belittling you, manipulating or ridiculing you with their indirect snide remarks. (as Matthew 17:19 says, “But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them.”). Such people are to be dismissed from your life without a second thought.
Be on guard against the talebearer
The extent of damage caused by gossip mongers is unimaginable. Typically, they pry into other people’s private affairs and spread information about others with no concern for its veracity. 1 Timothy 5: 13 serves as a useful pointer in this regard. It says, “Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also busybodies who talk nonsense, saying things they ought not to.” Hence it can only be deemed wise to avoid tattlers at all cost. Simply remove them from your circle of friends.
Steer clear of the narcissist
As one knows, narcissists have an exaggerated sense of self importance and live by an excessive admiration of themselves. They have an ‘entitlement mentality’ or a ‘you owe me’ attitude lacking empathy and demonstrating exploitive and haughty behavior at all times. Driven by immense pride, they magnify their talents / achievements and believe that others are envious of them when in fact it’s they who can never stomach other people’s accomplishments or progress. James 3: 14-16 has it right, “But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such ‘wisdom’ does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.” The verse warns us against the destructive power of envy, conceit and selfishness. Obviously, these people are toxic and we need to protect ourselves from them lest the ill effects of such toxicity can have a disastrous impact leaving us wounded for life. Any attempts to correct them will only be met with backlash. So it’s best to shun them to safeguard us from their malice.
Our Christian Duty to love
While the aforementioned categories of people are to be avoided to maintain peace in our lives and for the sake of our emotional and spiritual well-being, we must remember that we are obliged to love them, forgive them and even pray for them as John 13: 34 says “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”
Call to an everlasting friendship
In our quest for an enduring friendship, we must not forget that beyond everything we must seek out a Christ-centric friendship. This alone can fill our hearts. In John 15:13, God declared His love for us: “Greater love has no one than this, that He lay down His life for His friends.” In this verse we are given to understand that the best possible friendship can be had with Christ alone. This He demonstrated through His ultimate sacrifice on the Cross. Human friendship is imperfect and has its limitations as it is in total contrast to God’s unconditional love. So solely relying on humans for friendship is destructive making us idolaters. It a violation of the very first commandment – “I am the Lord your God… You shall have no other gods before me.” Plainly speaking, let no one take the place of Christ in your heart.
Furthermore, our special bond in Christ is emphasized in John 15:15 which says: I have called you friends, because I have told you everything I have heard from my Father.” When we abide in God’s friendship, He will remain faithful to us and reveal His deepest secrets. In Psalms 25:14, we get to apprehend the benefits of savoring a friendship with the Triune God – “The secret of the Lord is with them that fear Him, and He will show them His covenant.”
So above all things, let us focus on building, strengthening and enjoying a true and everlasting friendship with Christ. Happy friendship Day!
